I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
