Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
