at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
