ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize