roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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