I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Verdict: uncircumcised.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
