They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
