I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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