like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
