idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
