I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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