No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just want to make out with him forever
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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