: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
