One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
