We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
