I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
even my farts smell like vagina
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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