He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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