there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
