no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
