she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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