Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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