Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So. Much. Porn.
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