I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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