We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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