i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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