Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
