I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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