I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
