I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
