$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
