I need help removing her.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
