Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize