we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize