i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
