need another drink. this is the easiest way
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
