So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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