Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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