fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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