you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Blood and glitter go together right?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Randomize