So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
