i don't like sucking hair
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
