You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
