the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
