redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
