i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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