Tell her she can't have a vagina
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
