i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
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