Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
