I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
