Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize