Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
