Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I need help removing her.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
