I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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