we have officially lost it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize