i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
