he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
