The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
