I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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