oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Can Purell be used as lube?
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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